0% Perfect, 100% Forgiven

Where to begin? Well, for starters, this past Sunday at Sagebrush-Las Cruces, the sermon was on forgiveness. Technically it was on Matthew 5:9 which says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." I left that night processing and trying to understand what God wanted to teach me through this. Todd, the pastor, talked about forgiveness and he said that it was easy for us to forgive ourselves, but hard to forgive others and I couldn't stop thinking about that. You see, for me, it is much harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others. I hold myself to a higher standard while I make excuses for other people. I then continue to beat myself up over my sin. It's all over my journal! When I confess my sin, I say, "How could I do something like this?", "What was I thinking?", or I just call myself stupid. None of this is edifying and it doesn't really help me to grow. It's one thing to confess my sins, but it's another to dwell on them. That is when Satan comes in and tells me I'm not worthy of Jesus' blood. So basically, I've been struggling with dwelling on my sin this week. Tonight, I met with my discipleship group, which is led by this amazing Campus Crusade for Christ staff woman named Holly. We are going over 1 John and we talked about the false teachings of sin that are addressed in 1 John 1:5-2:2. We talked about downsizing our sin and dwelling on it and I expressed my struggle. Then God spoke to me through Holly. Holly said that dwelling on our sin and beating ourselves up over it is like saying Jesus' blood isn't powerful enough to cover my sin. It's like saying, "Thanks God for sending Jesus, but His blood won't cover my sins"...basically, a slap in the face. Not cool. She then went on to say we need to confess our sins and admit to them, but then acknowledge what Jesus did for us and recognize that His death on the cross-the pain he endured as his flesh was being torn from His body and as He died by suffocation-encompasses every sin I have ever committed and will ever commit. I will always sin...it's my nature and it is inevitable. However, knowing this, I can be confident in the fact that I am always 0% perfect, 100% forgiven.