Truths and lies...

Tonight's sermon at church hit me hard. I realized I've been listening to a lot of lies that Satan has said about me, and tonight, Jesus redeemed those with truths. I am not deserving of anything except death because of my sinful life, but Jesus died for me and made me into a new creation. He wiped my slate clean and made me white as snow. He has purified my heart...all because He LOVES me. And all I can do is glorify Him and sing His praises.

Crazy Love

Wow! I can't believe it's already almost August! I have not written in forever so here it goes! This past month has been so fantastic! I got home from San Diego, worked a bunch at Nothing but Noodles, and got to attend our college small group at Sagebrush Community Church. We read this book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it was seriously an incredible book. It was extremely convicting, but at the same time, extremely encouraging. It was so good to learn about God's crazy love for us. I know that God loves me as an individual, but I don't think that I ever thought about the depth of that crazy love or what it actually meant. I also never thought about what my response to that crazy love should be. Tonight, one of the things we talked about was what kind of legacy we wanted to leave when we died. I immediately thought of the song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman. I thought about putting my favorite lines on here, but I really think the whole song speaks volumes, so I'll just type the whole thing on here. :)

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

I really do not want to rely on the temporary trappings of this world. I want my funeral to be a night of worship, because in the end, it's not about me - it's about Jesus. I want to be obsessed with Him. That's the legacy I want to leave. I want to be so obsessed with Him that people look at my life and are pointed directly to Jesus. That may mean that I spend the rest of my life overseas or it may mean that I live on mission in the corporate world. Whatever I do, I want to serve and love others with the heart of Christ. I want to have a crazy love for Jesus.I want to think of eternity (the other world) so that I can be effective in this world.

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." -C.S. Lewis

Killing Giants

It is tradition on the San Diego Summer Project to have a week that is titled "Killing the Giants." Basically, this is the week where we share our faith multiple times every day and tackle the uncomfortable situations in our lives. This took place last week, but now that it's over, I have taken time to reflect on it and realize how great it really is. The passage we look to for this week is found in 1 Samuel 17:45-47 were David is telling the Philistine about the LORD and how He is David's help and strength and is stronger than anyone or anything. However, the verse that struck me from the overall passage was verse 48 which says, "Then it happened when the Philistine rose and came and drew near to meet David, that David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine" (NASB). I just was so impacted by the fact that David RAN QUICKLY toward the battle line. What a great picture of what we can do in the name of the LORD Almighty! Last year, I viewed Killing the Giants week as a pain in my behind. It made me uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I made up some fake "giants" in my life or the "giants" were real and I just chose not to do anything about them. This year, with the vivid picture of David running toward the Philistine, I was able to tackle my giants, or at least begin the process. It felt so great to trust God in these areas where I had never really done so before.

As the project continues, I am continuing to process through many things as God continues to refine me. Not gonna lie - it has been pretty rough because I have been believing some wrong things about God and drawing life from wrong places. However, God is so merciful and gracious to me and He continues to pour His love on me and He blesses me with great days out here in San Diego. God is just so good and I just don't deserve it, but I am so thankful for His love and mercy and grace.

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." -2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB

By the way, I am loving the World Cup and Wimbledon! It's probably not the best thing because the TV in our condo is always on, but it has been so much fun bonding with the rest of the staff over watching the USA team play at 7 in the morning! And now that Wimbledon is on, I do all of my work in front of the television! Ok, that is definitely an exaggeration, but I am watching tennis as I am writing this. As a matter of fact, Soderling just beat Ginepri in 3 sets in the first round of the tournament. Just thought I'd throw that in. The World Cup has also inspired the soccer players on project to play every week. It has been so much fun, except that I don't have my cleats! I play in running shoes and it's a big bummer, but I have so much fun! I also play some tennis out at the rec center and I love just goofing around as well as playing seriously. That's how I relax: by exerting more of my energy through sports. It has been a crazy time out here so far, but it is also insane to think that we only have 10 more days here before we leave! Then we are in Disneyland for a few days and then it's home to Albuquerque on the 7th! Until then, I have a lot to do,but it's going to be great!!!!

Peace and love from Sandy Eggo! (See what I did there? haha)

San Diego

What an adventure I'm on! I don't even know where to begin! I have learned and done so much out here that it all just kind of runs together in my mind. So I think I will make lists.
Places I've been:

• In-n-Out
• La Playa
• Clairemont Emmanuel Baptist Church
• San Diego State University
• Grossmont Community College
• Mesa Community College
• Mission Beach
• Mount Soledad
• Cafe 976
• Ralphs
• Trader Joe's
• Yogurtland
• Petco Park

Things I've Learned:

• Humility
• Living Spirit-filled (Galatians 5:16-26)
• Biblical history and prophecy (Daniel)
• and much more that is not necessarily coming to mind right now

Being here in San Diego as staff on Summer Project has been such a blessing. I have been so encouraged by the women in my condo and the rest of the staff. I have also been reminded daily of the importance of time in the Word every day. It is living and active and I need to be in it every day. For the first time in a long time, God is flooding me with peace and understanding and it is unbelievable to experience it all. This is the passage I have clung to since I've been here:

"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
-2 Corinthians 3:2-6

What a great reminder of where our worth and adequacy comes from! What a beautiful picture this passage paints! Since my "trainer," Abbie, showed me this passage, I have prayed it daily and God has reminded me daily that I am nothing without Him. I am all bad and He is all good.

I have about 3 more weeks here in San Diego and I am so very excited to see what else God has in store for me and for the rest of the project!

God is with us
In His loving arms, we are safe from harm
Blessed with His almighty love
May you find strength from Him above

Humility

Humbling. That is the word that sums up the first few days out here on project. I drove with my friends Rachel, Brittney, and Cody out to San Diego at midnight on Wednesday the 19th. We got into town around 1pm Pacific time and had the rest of the day to get settled. The next day was soul-to-souls and I thought I was ready, but God knows me better than I know myself and completely brought me to my knees in humility. I came out to San Diego thinking I was in this awesome spiritual state. However, as I began to do my soul-to-soul, I started to realize that I was the exact opposite! I'm not in a good state at all! I am not consistent with my quiet times and now, I have to lead girls who will look up to me spiritually this summer. How can I lead them if I'm not in the Word daily? Not good. God has shown me that I need to completely let everything go and give it all to Him, but also that His opinion of me is the only one that matters. My identity should be completely and solely in Him.
This weekend, I had to go to a wedding in Albuquerque and God showed me another area where I'm lacking. My sister called the house to tell me that there were some Mormons walking around the neighborhood. Like the callous, shallow person I am, I decided that I wouldn't answer the door when they came. However, my brother answered the door and I started to feel a know form in my stomach. You see, on Friday, the project went to UCSD to go out and share their faith. I was sad I was missing it, but was excited to go home for the wedding. So when these guys left, I realized what an idiot I had been! God gave me an opportunity on my doorstep to share my faith and I was a coward. I felt so horrible once my brother closed the door and the guys were gone and my heart aches with embarrassment when I think about it. Then, I went to the wedding yesterday and was completely moved by my friends. My roommate and I always talk about how much we love our friends and it was so much fun to celebrate this amazing event with all of them. The ceremony was beautiful and it made me so excited for the day when I, God-willing, will get to experience that. The toasts at the reception were fantastic, but one thing was said that I knew, but never really took to heart. The matron of honor ended her toast by reminding the couple that their marriage was to glorify God in every aspect. She reminded them that they needed to love God first, and through that, they would grow closer every day. It was such a great reminder and it was so encouraging for me. I know that I need to love God first and then everything else will happen according to His plan.
Today, I got back to San Diego around 10:15am and got back to the project a little later. My day started with a Bible study that was amazing, but made me realize that a lot of times, I view salvation as a secondary need when it is really the primary need. We were in Luke 5:17-26 when Jesus heals the paralytic. Jesus forgives the man of his sins first and then heals him. By doing this, Jesus meets the man's primary need before his physical, secondary need. So often, I witness healing and prosperity and I am reminded that God is there. However, this results in the fact that I am so focused on the secondary needs that they become a primary need to me. This is so sad and I am fervently praying that God will turn this around for me.
Lastly, I also got the applications of my growth group girls today and I have never felt more insecure. One girl in my group is way more spiritually mature than me and I am so nervous about having her in my group. How can I lead a girl spiritually when she is more spiritually mature than me?! Then, a few minutes ago when I started writing this post, I realized that I have to give it over to God. I believe that He can enable me to lead these girls and meet their needs that He wants me to. I believe that God can use me in their lives no matter the level of spiritual maturity. I believe that He will give me the confidence and the words that I need to disciple these girls well this summer.

God has used so many events in the past few days to show me so much and to truly humble me. I know that I need to fully rely on Him. Without Him, nothing is possible.

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"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
-John 15:4-5
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Needless to say, San Diego Summer Project 2010 is off to a fantastic start. It is not at all the start I expected, but it is amazing! My condo is great, my training group is great, and my ministry team is great! I cannot wait to see what else God has for me this summer!

John 9

The sermon in church today was on John 9, which is the story of the blind man who Jesus heals. What I usually take from this story is that Jesus has compassion for everyone. I received so much more than that today and I am just so thankful that God is continually molding me and shaping me to be a better witness for Him. Here are some things I took from today:

• Jesus always sees something in others that no one else sees.
  
• No matter what happens in life, good or bad, it is all meant to glorify God.
  
• Life is always better when we place everything we have in the hands of Jesus.
• Also, when you have Jesus, you have EVERYTHING.

During the sermon, the pastor said something that really hit home. He talked about how the blind man had no idea who this guy talking to him was, and all of a sudden, he hears spitting and the rubbing together of mud and saliva. Then he feels something cool on his eyes. Yet, after all he has heard and felt, he does not pull away. He says "yes" to Jesus. Then I thought, do I say yes to Jesus? When I sat and really thought about the answer, a knot formed in my stomach. I know exactly who Jesus is and I love Him, but I don't always say yes to Him. I don't give Him everything I have. My biggest problem is that I don't give Him my time. I would rather sleep or sew or be on facebook than spend time with my Savior. How sad is that?

So it is 2 days before I leave for San Diego and I don't want this to be the case anymore. I want to be a good steward of my time and devote it all to the Lord. I want everything I say and do to glorify God. I want my actions to be a witness for Jesus. He deserves my everything and I want to give it to Him, just like the blind man in John 9.

Splenda

No, this post is not about my love for artificial sweetener...I just didn't feel like titling it "Sweet." Anyways, I'm just loving life right now. God is doing some pretty sweet things and I enjoy soaking them up day after day. The first thing that comes to mind is my relationship with Jadee (the Chi Omega in the picture). She is awesome. God has orchestrated both our lives so that we could find each other in college and learn and grow from one another. The whole thing just blows my mind! I met her at church through a friend and then she was in my recruitment group and then we just started meeting and before we knew it, I was discipling her! The semester has been so cool and we'll both be in San Diego this summer so I'm super pumped for that. I know that I'm supposed to be mentoring her, but God has used her to show me so many things as well. I've learned to be fearless because I know who I am in God and I am confident in Him. I've learned to listen to others more and ask questions instead of selfishly talking about myself. I've learned to laugh at myself...even more than I already do. Last, but not least, I've learned to care about others and to be compassionate. Jadee cares so deeply for others and it blows my mind! Seeing how much she cares for others caused me to examine my own thoughts and my heart, and I realized that sometimes, I don't show compassion and I don't care about others. I may act like I care or put on a smile, but my heart will be ugly. Not cool. Jadee emulates God's love and compassion for others. That is where I want to be and I am so thankful that God has shown me this. He is constantly preparing me for this summer and it makes me so happy. I made her a vision plan for the summer and if I may say so myself, it's pretty cool. I used a pink journal and used some stickers to put her name on the front, then I went crazy on the inside with stickers, pictures, and colored pens. It was fantastic. We went to breakfast this morning and I gave it to her and it was so much fun! We talked for hours about this and that and I loved every minute of it. I am so thankful and blessed that God has placed her in my life! I know that there is still so much to come for the both of us.

On Friday night, we had Crown Ball. It was my first date party since fall 2008! The theme was prom so I got all dressed up and I did my makeup all pretty and stuff. The truth is I hate wearing that much makeup. It was fun for the night, but I was so glad to take it off. I just feel gross when I know there's a ton of makeup on my face. My idea of enough makeup is bronzer and a little blush. My crazy days are when I actually put on mascara! Anyways, my dress was short, strapless, and red with flower/ruffle things at the bottom. It was so cute and I borrowed it from one of the other Zetas. I guess expanded closets are a perk of being in a sorority. I also got to wear my black and silver glitter heels which I never get to wear! I think that was the most exciting part for me. Oh, and my date actually matched me! I didn't tell him what I was wearing because I didn't think it was a big deal, but some of our friends intervened and found him a nice red tie to wear with a black shirt. The night was pretty interesting, but a lot of fun. There was even a chocolate fountain!!! You can never go wrong with a chocolate fountain in my book.

And now, it's finals week. Time to spend every waking hour of the next 4 days studying. Oh, and on top of that, I have to pack for the summer. Craziness. But, it will all be worth it when I go home to see my family and then go out to San Diego. I just want to be done with school...right now. I will end by saying that if you don't hear from me in the next week, it is because I am buried in my notes, so don't worry. See you in a week...or whenever.

Unexpected

Wow. What a long and crazy day.

1. Woke up at 5:30am and ate an omelet, some honey nut cheerios, and some oatmeal.
2. Drank some coffee, had a quiet time and got ready for school.
3. Filled up my entire water bottle, then left it on the counter at my apartment.
4. Class from 8:55-3:35.
5. Went for a run in the activity center...

Here's where it gets interesting...all day long, I had been looking forward to running then going to my bosu class at 5, but apparently, God didn't want that to happen. I finished running my two miles on the treadmill and started walking. All of a sudden, my body felt really heavy, my limbs got all tingly, and i got really light-headed. So I clung to the side of the treadmill with my iPod still on and I'm pretty sure I actually passed out while I was standing up. Once I came to, I sat down on the treadmill with my head between my legs for probably about 5 minutes with a ringing in my ears. Finally, everything returned to normal and I was able to walk out of the AC just fine. Pretty crazy, huh? I'm just glad I didn't throw up! After all that craziness, I wrote my support letter for this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then, I couldn't print it! I went to 4 different computers in Corbett and none of them were connected to the only working printer in the place! Needless to say, I got really frustrated and just decided to leave and after eating food that was easy on my stomach and a good chat with the roommate, I sat down to write this and started reflecting on the madness that was today. I started out my day listening to a Beth Moore session and something she said really hit me.

Satan has no greater agenda than attempting to desecrate what God consecrates, but God does not overlook this. He gives us the ability to fight the enemy.

I learned that I am consecrated to God and I felt like today, Satan berated me with frustrations, lies, and inconveniences that caused me to look away from God. But it's good to know that I can come home, recognize all of this, and remember that He has given me the ability to fight Satan. One of the best things He has given me is prayer. No matter where I am, no matter what time of day it is, I know that I can always count on God and talk to Him about anything. He is so good and I know my hope is safe in Him. Now that's a good day. :)