Truths and lies...

Tonight's sermon at church hit me hard. I realized I've been listening to a lot of lies that Satan has said about me, and tonight, Jesus redeemed those with truths. I am not deserving of anything except death because of my sinful life, but Jesus died for me and made me into a new creation. He wiped my slate clean and made me white as snow. He has purified my heart...all because He LOVES me. And all I can do is glorify Him and sing His praises.

Identity Crisis

i-den-ti-ty [ih-den-ti-tee]

noun, plural i-den-ti-ties.

1. the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, asunder varying aspects or conditions: The identity of thefingerprints on the gun with those on file provided evidence that he was the killer.
2. the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another. He doubted his own identity.
3. condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is: a case of mistaken identity.
4. the state or fact of being the same as described.

I've always struggled with my identity, especially as it pertains to my faith. If identity is what defines you and what people recognize you for, then I want that to be Jesus...right? Want?...YES! Is He actually my identity?...rarely.

Throughout my life and my walk with Christ, I think I've fallen into step with the definition #4 of the word "identity." I focus on how I am described by others. For many years, and even still, I have striven and desired to be remarkable, to be a head-turner, to be worth remembering. And wouldn't you know it - that fits right in with the "Big D" mentality that is my new home. I L-O-V-E Dallas, but I have been sucked into the rabbit hole of status and outward appearances. Truthfully, the only way out that I have found is Jesus. 

While trying to find my way out of that rabbit hole, I have sought other things for my identity. The most recent one is my job. This is my first "big girl" job and I didn't quite realize what came with that title - the woes of coworkers, the crushing weight of failure, and the constant need for approval from your boss. After a year of working, I feel like I'm pretty good at my job. Actually, if I'm brutally honest, I think I'm great at my job. Nobody's perfect, but I think I do a really good job - and therein lies the problem. I have become prideful in the work that I do. In my head, I lord all of the good things I do over my coworkers and my heart is mean and prideful and gross all of the time. I gossip like crazy because deep down, I am a mean girl and it makes me feel good that I am on top of things and can put others down. Pretty darn ugly and sad if you ask me.

Anyways, my identity has become so intertwined with my job that I expect other people to think it's really important too! I was talking to an acquaintance tonight who is in human medicine and I made a comparison between veterinary and human medicine. This person doesn't quite share my love of animals...which is completely fine! However, the look on her face and her apparent disgust toward my comparison made me really sad...like REALLY sad. I felt judged and hurt and misunderstood. My heart was really hurt...

But Jesus is merciful and gracious and loving and compassionate and He met me where I was. As I was getting ready for bed, He entered in and showed me that I was putting my job in front of Him. I realized that work is all that I have talked about in home group. It is all I talk about when people ask how I'm doing. Yes, my job is a huge part of my life, but it isn't my identity. Jesus is. He chose me and called me to follow Him. His love is what defines everything about me because that love includes His death on the cross for my gross, idolatrous heart.

"Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God's people, Once you received no mercy; now you have received God's mercy." -1 Peter 2:10 NLT 

I am God's. I am loved by Him, and that is all that matters, and it is the only thing I need to identify myself.

My church posted this link on their Facebook page and it was the cherry on top of my identity crisis. It's a great read, so once you're done with this novel, check out this slightly shorter story. 

Advent

Can I just say how much I love my church? I've met some great people, participated in an intense theological class, gone through a women's Bible study of Genesis (amazing!) and I've found a home group. To top it all off, I'm taking the membership class in January and I'm so excited to find even more ways to connect in the church.

Right now, we're going through Advent. It's one of those words that you think you know the meaning of, then someone asks you what it means and you realize you have absolutely no idea. Growing up in the church, I've heard the word used over the years, but never actually understood what it meant. Here's the definition given by the Village Church in the Advent guide the church is doing as a whole: "Advent, formed from a Latin word meaning "coming" or "arrival," is about the coming of Christ. It's the celebration of the first advent of Jesus and the anxious awaiting of His second. The season is a time for remembering and rejoicing, watching and waiting, and a time to reflect upon the promises of God and to anticipate the fulfillment of those promises with patience, prayer, and preparedness." WOW. I never knew that!

One of the questions in the guide one week asked "How does anticipation increase joy?" Honestly, I never thought of anticipation bringing joy. I always placed anticipation in the same category as worry because as I wait and think about the promises to come, I worry that something will go wrong or that I didn't do something right or that the promise just won't be fulfilled. It's like being stood up for a date or not making the team. But then you dive deeper. Where was I placing my hope in these situations? What were the "promises" that I was waiting on? The "promise" of a great date and many future dates? The "promise" of the recognition of being on the team? In these cases, hope is placed into earthly things that will always fail...ALWAYS. In Advent, we can be confident and joyful in the anticipation of Jesus' second coming. Why? Because our hope is in the Eternal God. He has yet to fall through on a promise He made and the evidence is all over Scripture. We also know that "hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5). In other words, the season of advent cannot end in disappointment or worry. We know that we get Jesus in the end; that He will return and that the promises He made will be fulfilled! Our anticipation in this regard can only bring joy at the thought of being with the One who knows us inside and out and is still willing to love us despite our wretchedness. The anticipation of being with Him is too great not to love.

Come, thou long expected Jesus,

born to set thy people free;

from our fears and sins release us,

let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,

hope of all the earth thou art;

dear desire of every nation,

joy to every longing heart.

Born thy people to deliver,

born a child and yet a King,

born to reign in us forever,

now thy gracious Kingdom bring.

By thine own eternal spirit

rule in all our hearts alone;

by thine all-sufficient merit,

raise us to thy glorious throne.

-Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

Hello, my friend

Oh my! As of today, I have neglected this thing for 4 months! I guess part of it is because I don't feel like I have anything noteworthy to write about and also, this is the first chance I've had to just relax for the past 4 months. This semester has been crazy, exhausting, quick, hard, busy, and full of ups and downs. As of Wednesday afternoon, all that was finished, and now, I officially have one semester of college left! I cannot believe it's almost here! This is something I've dreamed about for so long and now I'm actually making plans and getting stuff all figured out! I know that in the end, it'll be really bittersweet, but now, I'm just flat out excited!

The plan is to leave this beautiful place I call home and venture into something totally new - a city. I was born in Plano, moved to a small town in Maryland when I was 6, and moved to Albuquerque when I was 14. After 8 wonderful years in New Mexico, I'm packing up and moving to Dallas. Why? I'm not quite sure. It's a fresh start and it's familiar, but the unfamiliar part is that I'll be on my own. I'm excited to start planning everything over the next six months and pumped to see all that God has in store. He moved me to New Mexico for a reason and has taught me so much in my time here. It is strange to think that in just six months, I will leave the place where I truly grew up - physically, mentally, and spiritually. He has given me a fantastic group of believers as friends who are so passionate for the Word and some of them are already living in Dallas! I'm heading out there for spring break to visit and I cannot wait! I am thrilled to start this new chapter of my life with Jesus leading the way. He truly is my Rock and my Light and I cannot imagine life without Him. I am so thankful for all of the lessons He has taught me and all of blessings He has so graciously given me. His love and mercy and grace have pulled me out of the pit time and time again. He is so good.

I am currently praying for a roommate for when I go out there. I honestly have no problems living by myself in a studio apartment or loft somewhere just outside of the city, but I also know it would be easier financially and socially if I had a roommate. I am just about as social as they come, but it would be great to have someone to go out with. I would love to bring my current roommate with me, but unfortunately, she has one more semester of school left after I graduate. I am dreading leaving her because God placed her in my life at the perfect time and she has truly become one of my best friends. We know each other so well and I'm going to be so sad when I don't live with her anymore. Anyways, if you're reading this, I ask that you would start praying for a roommate for me for Dallas. I want to move at the end of May/beginning of June, so it would be great if I found one before then. I am also super pumped to attend the Village Church in Dallas and to start getting involved there. God is doing great things through the Acts 29 movement and it will be so neat to be able to experience it first hand.

Before any of that happens though, I still have one more semester. I have 3 classes left for my major and the rest are workout classes. I'm taking jazz 2, ballet 2, beginning weight training, and pilates. It's going to be great! But even before that, I have my Christmas break. On Saturday, I'll go to Tuscon with my parents, come back on Sunday, then stay in Las Cruces until Wednesday the 15th. On that day, I will leave for Charleston, South Carolina on a Greyhound bus. I know it's going to be quite an experience, so I'm definitely going to blog about it and post pictures! But get this-!- they have wi-fi on the bus and plugs! At least I can update this thing right from the bus! After 2 days on the bus, I'll arrive in Charleston for my friend Nicole's wedding! I'll get there on Friday morning, get ready, hang out all day, then do the rehearsal and the dinner that night. The wedding will be on Saturday and I am so privileged to be a part of this special occasion. I'll leave Charleston on Sunday night and get back to El Paso around noon on Tuesday. Then, I'll drive back to Las Cruces, pick up some things, and will FINALLY be on my way home to Albuquerque for the break! I'll spend the holidays with my wonderful family, and on New Year's Day, I get to celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary! Then, after 2 more weeks, school starts again on January 13th. Bleh! I don't even want to think about that right now! I am, however, looking forward to this much needed break from school. I'm excited to talk theology with my mom and football with my dad, to shop with my sister, and to (hopefully) see my brothers and their band perform! It is going to be a jam-packed, but phenomenal, winter break.

Until next time, remember to eat a little something out of all of the food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.

Crazy Love

Wow! I can't believe it's already almost August! I have not written in forever so here it goes! This past month has been so fantastic! I got home from San Diego, worked a bunch at Nothing but Noodles, and got to attend our college small group at Sagebrush Community Church. We read this book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it was seriously an incredible book. It was extremely convicting, but at the same time, extremely encouraging. It was so good to learn about God's crazy love for us. I know that God loves me as an individual, but I don't think that I ever thought about the depth of that crazy love or what it actually meant. I also never thought about what my response to that crazy love should be. Tonight, one of the things we talked about was what kind of legacy we wanted to leave when we died. I immediately thought of the song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman. I thought about putting my favorite lines on here, but I really think the whole song speaks volumes, so I'll just type the whole thing on here. :)

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

I really do not want to rely on the temporary trappings of this world. I want my funeral to be a night of worship, because in the end, it's not about me - it's about Jesus. I want to be obsessed with Him. That's the legacy I want to leave. I want to be so obsessed with Him that people look at my life and are pointed directly to Jesus. That may mean that I spend the rest of my life overseas or it may mean that I live on mission in the corporate world. Whatever I do, I want to serve and love others with the heart of Christ. I want to have a crazy love for Jesus.I want to think of eternity (the other world) so that I can be effective in this world.

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." -C.S. Lewis

San Diego

What an adventure I'm on! I don't even know where to begin! I have learned and done so much out here that it all just kind of runs together in my mind. So I think I will make lists.
Places I've been:

• In-n-Out
• La Playa
• Clairemont Emmanuel Baptist Church
• San Diego State University
• Grossmont Community College
• Mesa Community College
• Mission Beach
• Mount Soledad
• Cafe 976
• Ralphs
• Trader Joe's
• Yogurtland
• Petco Park

Things I've Learned:

• Humility
• Living Spirit-filled (Galatians 5:16-26)
• Biblical history and prophecy (Daniel)
• and much more that is not necessarily coming to mind right now

Being here in San Diego as staff on Summer Project has been such a blessing. I have been so encouraged by the women in my condo and the rest of the staff. I have also been reminded daily of the importance of time in the Word every day. It is living and active and I need to be in it every day. For the first time in a long time, God is flooding me with peace and understanding and it is unbelievable to experience it all. This is the passage I have clung to since I've been here:

"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
-2 Corinthians 3:2-6

What a great reminder of where our worth and adequacy comes from! What a beautiful picture this passage paints! Since my "trainer," Abbie, showed me this passage, I have prayed it daily and God has reminded me daily that I am nothing without Him. I am all bad and He is all good.

I have about 3 more weeks here in San Diego and I am so very excited to see what else God has in store for me and for the rest of the project!

God is with us
In His loving arms, we are safe from harm
Blessed with His almighty love
May you find strength from Him above

Humility

Humbling. That is the word that sums up the first few days out here on project. I drove with my friends Rachel, Brittney, and Cody out to San Diego at midnight on Wednesday the 19th. We got into town around 1pm Pacific time and had the rest of the day to get settled. The next day was soul-to-souls and I thought I was ready, but God knows me better than I know myself and completely brought me to my knees in humility. I came out to San Diego thinking I was in this awesome spiritual state. However, as I began to do my soul-to-soul, I started to realize that I was the exact opposite! I'm not in a good state at all! I am not consistent with my quiet times and now, I have to lead girls who will look up to me spiritually this summer. How can I lead them if I'm not in the Word daily? Not good. God has shown me that I need to completely let everything go and give it all to Him, but also that His opinion of me is the only one that matters. My identity should be completely and solely in Him.
This weekend, I had to go to a wedding in Albuquerque and God showed me another area where I'm lacking. My sister called the house to tell me that there were some Mormons walking around the neighborhood. Like the callous, shallow person I am, I decided that I wouldn't answer the door when they came. However, my brother answered the door and I started to feel a know form in my stomach. You see, on Friday, the project went to UCSD to go out and share their faith. I was sad I was missing it, but was excited to go home for the wedding. So when these guys left, I realized what an idiot I had been! God gave me an opportunity on my doorstep to share my faith and I was a coward. I felt so horrible once my brother closed the door and the guys were gone and my heart aches with embarrassment when I think about it. Then, I went to the wedding yesterday and was completely moved by my friends. My roommate and I always talk about how much we love our friends and it was so much fun to celebrate this amazing event with all of them. The ceremony was beautiful and it made me so excited for the day when I, God-willing, will get to experience that. The toasts at the reception were fantastic, but one thing was said that I knew, but never really took to heart. The matron of honor ended her toast by reminding the couple that their marriage was to glorify God in every aspect. She reminded them that they needed to love God first, and through that, they would grow closer every day. It was such a great reminder and it was so encouraging for me. I know that I need to love God first and then everything else will happen according to His plan.
Today, I got back to San Diego around 10:15am and got back to the project a little later. My day started with a Bible study that was amazing, but made me realize that a lot of times, I view salvation as a secondary need when it is really the primary need. We were in Luke 5:17-26 when Jesus heals the paralytic. Jesus forgives the man of his sins first and then heals him. By doing this, Jesus meets the man's primary need before his physical, secondary need. So often, I witness healing and prosperity and I am reminded that God is there. However, this results in the fact that I am so focused on the secondary needs that they become a primary need to me. This is so sad and I am fervently praying that God will turn this around for me.
Lastly, I also got the applications of my growth group girls today and I have never felt more insecure. One girl in my group is way more spiritually mature than me and I am so nervous about having her in my group. How can I lead a girl spiritually when she is more spiritually mature than me?! Then, a few minutes ago when I started writing this post, I realized that I have to give it over to God. I believe that He can enable me to lead these girls and meet their needs that He wants me to. I believe that God can use me in their lives no matter the level of spiritual maturity. I believe that He will give me the confidence and the words that I need to disciple these girls well this summer.

God has used so many events in the past few days to show me so much and to truly humble me. I know that I need to fully rely on Him. Without Him, nothing is possible.

____________________________________________________________________

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
-John 15:4-5
____________________________________________________________________

Needless to say, San Diego Summer Project 2010 is off to a fantastic start. It is not at all the start I expected, but it is amazing! My condo is great, my training group is great, and my ministry team is great! I cannot wait to see what else God has for me this summer!

John 9

The sermon in church today was on John 9, which is the story of the blind man who Jesus heals. What I usually take from this story is that Jesus has compassion for everyone. I received so much more than that today and I am just so thankful that God is continually molding me and shaping me to be a better witness for Him. Here are some things I took from today:

• Jesus always sees something in others that no one else sees.
  
• No matter what happens in life, good or bad, it is all meant to glorify God.
  
• Life is always better when we place everything we have in the hands of Jesus.
• Also, when you have Jesus, you have EVERYTHING.

During the sermon, the pastor said something that really hit home. He talked about how the blind man had no idea who this guy talking to him was, and all of a sudden, he hears spitting and the rubbing together of mud and saliva. Then he feels something cool on his eyes. Yet, after all he has heard and felt, he does not pull away. He says "yes" to Jesus. Then I thought, do I say yes to Jesus? When I sat and really thought about the answer, a knot formed in my stomach. I know exactly who Jesus is and I love Him, but I don't always say yes to Him. I don't give Him everything I have. My biggest problem is that I don't give Him my time. I would rather sleep or sew or be on facebook than spend time with my Savior. How sad is that?

So it is 2 days before I leave for San Diego and I don't want this to be the case anymore. I want to be a good steward of my time and devote it all to the Lord. I want everything I say and do to glorify God. I want my actions to be a witness for Jesus. He deserves my everything and I want to give it to Him, just like the blind man in John 9.

Oh Dear...

Let's see...where do I begin? So much has happened this past month and it all just runs together in my brain. Spring break was forever ago, but it was so good to go home and see my family! I'm such a homebody when I go back and I love spending time with them. They refresh my life. That week was needed because the weeks following spring break were devoted to greek sing and greek week. April is probably the most stressful month of my entire year. It's so much fun, but I am always glad when it's over. The first 2 weeks were spent practicing for greek sing. Our theme this year was the roaring 20's and I got to act! It was so much fun and we put on an amazing show! We got third place, then went straight into greek week, which was filled with activities. Greek olympics was last Saturday and all of our practice paid off. We won tug, which never happens!!! I'm pretty sure the last time Zeta won tug was about 8 years ago. We also won pyramid and chariot...so awesome!

Another update: I have officially raised all of my support for San Diego this summer!!! It has been so amazing to see God work through His provision and it is so reassuring for me. I know this is where God wants me this summer and I am so ready to go. I will leave on May 19th and drive out to San Diego with some friends. On the 21st, I fly back to Albuquerque for a wedding, then back to San Diego on the 23rd. I will be there until July 7th. I honestly cannot wait to get out there. God has moved in me and changed me so much this past year. I am not the same girl that went to San Diego a year ago. God used San Diego Summer Project to change my life and I cannot wait to see how God uses it in the lives of students this summer. We are going through Luke and I am actually responsible to write one of the studies we'll be doing with 2 other student staff members. I'm nervous for this because I don't think I know how to properly study the Bible in the first place, but I know God will use this to teach me something.

We had our last Sagebrush-Las Cruces service last Sunday. Todd, the senior pastor at the church, came and spoke live and it was so cool! For the first time in a while, I was able to completely let my guard down and just praise Jesus for all that He has done for me and is doing for me. It felt so good to be reminded of the freedom I have in Christ. On that note, I'm working through a Beth Moore study right now on Daniel and it is incredible. I have learned so many things from it, but I guess an underlying them is to live for Jesus-no matter what. Daniel always did, even when he was exiled from Judah to Babylon. He continued to love the Lord and serve Him and he prospered in all that he did. Plus, he lived in Babylon and there are so many connections to the Babylon of the Bible and to the world we live in today. We are living in a modern day Babylon, and I want to live in it like Daniel did.

Now, it's time for the end of school. Tomorrow is a biology test, then El Paso and date party on Friday, then study time this weekend so I can ace my finals next week! I feel like the end of school is crazier than this whole past month has been, but it will all be worth it when it's done!

Motto for the week: Love Jesus. Love others.

Worship

"My happiness is found in less of me and more of You." -Shane and Shane

I have a serious problem...I ask God for thing after thing and He blesses me time and time again...but I rarely go to Him because of who He is. Sad right? I mean, God is infinite and unfathomable, yet He cares for me and loves me so much. ME! I don't deserve His love, yet He gives it to me unconditionally and I just can't seem to return it. It breaks my heart to realize this. I don't want this to be true of my relationship with the One who sent His Son to save me. He deserves more than that from me.

I guess I truly realized this last Sunday. Some quick background information: I absolutely love to sing. My aunt has a home video of me, my 2 brothers, and my cousin Lisa when we were little and I sang the entire "Super Turkey" song - motions and all. While I was singing and in my own little world on that fireplace, Lisa was turning people into frogs with her wand, Zach was counting to 5 then jumping off the fireplace, and Blake was singing his favorite song from "Free Willy" which happened to be "Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson. I have loved to sing and perform since I could form sentences. I did choir in elementary school, middle school, high school, and church. I was in the worship band for "children's church" at my church in Maryland and I was in the high school worship band at my old church in Albuquerque. However, now that I'm in college, I just really like to sing in my car and around my apartment. Especially after this past summer in San Diego, I realized that by singing the way I had for all those years, I was seeking my own glory. I didn't sing to glorify God; I sang because I knew I was good and it was an ego boost. Needless to say, I am now a behind-the-scenes girl. I like to serve others and that results in me not being on a stage and singing in front of people. Flash back to this past Sunday: I had to sing the feature song at church. I was terrified because I was singing by myself and I hadn't sang in front of others in a very long time. I prayed that God would calm me down and that I would be able to get through the song just fine. I prayed that morning on the drive from Albuquerque to Cruces. I prayed while we were setting up for church. I prayed while the band was practicing. I prayed while I was practicing. I prayed throughout the entire sermon. I prayed during the 5-6 minute prayer as I was up on stage before I actually had to sing. It was in those final minutes before I sang that I finally felt peace. God showed me that He had given me this gift to bring Him glory and that nothing else mattered. It didn't matter what people thought of me. It only mattered that I was singing a worship song to God and that I BELIEVED every single word I was singing. It felt so good to sing to my God with praise and worship in my heart. But then after I was done, I don't remember thanking Him for giving me that peace or getting me through the song. I had asked Him for help all day long, but I didn't bother to thank Him or talk to Him once I was done. Maybe I was just overwhelmed...I dunno.

So after this drastic realization, I have been listening to worship music on my iPod. However, after about the 4th time through the playlist, I realized I needed new worship music. Since I can't buy any, I'm just constantly listening to worship on Pandora. I made a "Shane and Shane" station today and I must say that I am thoroughly enjoying it. This is allowing me to see God in a new way. I am hearing all of these words that are just giving God the glory and praising Him...and not because of anything He has done, but just because of who He is. He is holy and I will praise Him. During my quiet time this morning, I chose to limit myself as far as what I asked Him for. I asked Him for 3 things...

1. Guidance during the day in everything I say and do.
2. That He would raise the $300 I need in support for San Diego by March 17th.
3. That He would give me wisdom and discernment as I study His Word.
   

Usually, I go on and on with requests, but today I went on and on with praises and with reminders of who God is...to everyone and to me. The beauty of it is that I felt complete confidence in Him at that point - especially when I asked Him for #2. Support raising scares me, but today, God told me I could always be confident in Him. He will provide and I BELIEVE that He will provide that $300 I need by March 17th. I am confident in Him. He is Jehovah Jireh! I have no reason to not be confident in Him! I have no reason to worry! I only have reason to worship Him and to love Him.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

Unexpected

Wow. What a long and crazy day.

1. Woke up at 5:30am and ate an omelet, some honey nut cheerios, and some oatmeal.
2. Drank some coffee, had a quiet time and got ready for school.
3. Filled up my entire water bottle, then left it on the counter at my apartment.
4. Class from 8:55-3:35.
5. Went for a run in the activity center...

Here's where it gets interesting...all day long, I had been looking forward to running then going to my bosu class at 5, but apparently, God didn't want that to happen. I finished running my two miles on the treadmill and started walking. All of a sudden, my body felt really heavy, my limbs got all tingly, and i got really light-headed. So I clung to the side of the treadmill with my iPod still on and I'm pretty sure I actually passed out while I was standing up. Once I came to, I sat down on the treadmill with my head between my legs for probably about 5 minutes with a ringing in my ears. Finally, everything returned to normal and I was able to walk out of the AC just fine. Pretty crazy, huh? I'm just glad I didn't throw up! After all that craziness, I wrote my support letter for this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then, I couldn't print it! I went to 4 different computers in Corbett and none of them were connected to the only working printer in the place! Needless to say, I got really frustrated and just decided to leave and after eating food that was easy on my stomach and a good chat with the roommate, I sat down to write this and started reflecting on the madness that was today. I started out my day listening to a Beth Moore session and something she said really hit me.

Satan has no greater agenda than attempting to desecrate what God consecrates, but God does not overlook this. He gives us the ability to fight the enemy.

I learned that I am consecrated to God and I felt like today, Satan berated me with frustrations, lies, and inconveniences that caused me to look away from God. But it's good to know that I can come home, recognize all of this, and remember that He has given me the ability to fight Satan. One of the best things He has given me is prayer. No matter where I am, no matter what time of day it is, I know that I can always count on God and talk to Him about anything. He is so good and I know my hope is safe in Him. Now that's a good day. :)