Greyhound #4: Shreveport, LA

This is definitely one of the craziest parts of the trip. Katie and I arrived in Shreveport around 6:30AM and Katie's awesome phone needed to be charged. We walked into the station and found the charging station along the wall so that she could plug her phone in. Little did we know that we were about to have a very interesting conversation with the next two characters in our story. Katie was wearing a New Mexico State hoodie, even though we didn't necessarily want people to know where we were from. Keep in mind that we have been on the bus for almost a full day at this point. We are gross and still in sweats and so tired because we were fast asleep before we stopped in Shreveport. All of a sudden, this guy (later, we would find out his name was Michael) said, "Y'all are from New Mexico?" We looked up and said yes and he goes, "I f***ing hate that state." This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Why?!

Michael: It's so ugly! It's brown and flat and ugly.

Me: It's beautiful!

As we talked, we found out he had spent a year in Socorro, NM.

Me and Katie: Well that's why you don't think it's beautiful!

Me: The sunsets are so pretty and the mountains turn the most beautiful colors!

We continued to argue about the beauty of New Mexico. At this point, another guy had joined in the conversation (I'm pretty sure his name was Shawn). Anyways, Michael just kept asking questions and the weirdest thing was that most of them were directed at me. Where are you going? Why are you going there? Where are you from in NM? How old are you? What are you majoring in? Then it got really interesting...

Michael: So you're like hispanic right?

Me: Um yea (with a very shocked look on my face).

Michael: But only half. Because you act like a white girl but you look hispanic.

Me: (look at Katie thinking, "Is this guy for real?") Yea.

Michael: So your mom is hispanic and your dad is white?

Me: (laughing) No, it's actually the opposite.

Michael: So what's your last name? Mendoza or something?

-At this point, all of us laughed. I knew that was the one question I would not answer. The sweatshirt I was wearing had my first name on it so I definitely didn't want anyone except Katie knowing my last name.-

Michael: What? That's a popular name!

Katie: No, Gonzales is a popular hispanic last name! I don't know anyone with the last name "Mendoza".

Michael: Ok, so what is your last name?

Me: (laughed nervously, but didn't say anything)

Then, I'm pretty sure Shawn changed the subject and I don't remember much after that. Michael introduced himself to me when we went to get back on the bus. I just got back on the bus, not believing what had just happened, when Katie told me that Michael had a tattoo of baby feet on his neck with a name next to it. Katie couldn't believe he was talking me up when he had a baby. I never spoke to Michael again, but Shawn has at least two more stories in our journey.

Moral of the Story: Be smart when talking to characters in a bus station...you never know what they'll try to get out of you.

Greyhound #3: Sweetwater to Dallas, TX

After hitting Big Spring, we continued on toward Sweetwater, TX which is actually where my grandparents live! It was so weird driving through the town and not stopping to see them, but it was 11PM and we stopped for about two seconds when no one was at the bus stop. Before we got there, we passed my grandparents church (shout out to Lamar Street Baptist Church) and we passed the Dairy Queen my Grandpa always takes us to for treats. We even passed the hospital my brother had to visit years ago when he was infected by poison ivy and his eye swelled shut. Oh the memories. Anyways, once we hit Abilene, we changed bus drivers and drove straight through to Fort Worth over the next 4 hours. I was so excited to see the bright lights of Dallas when we finally got there! And then it was time to transfer buses. Katie and I got off the bus, grabbed our bags, and went to the bathroom. It was there that we met another character. Let's call her Shirley. Shirley was probably younger than she looked, and she looked to be about 55 or 60. Most of her top teeth were missing and her blonde hair was stringy and thin. she was wearing a dirty long sleeve shirt, jeans, and a vest and I think something was wrong with her mentally/physically because she kept rocking back and forth on her feet and she was holding onto her left wrist with her right hand and her left palm was turned up. Katie went to the bathroom while I stayed with our bags and Shirley was almost crying as she asked us for money. She told us that she had no money and she just needed a little bit so she could get some food. Unfortunately, I had just given all of my change to a Salvation Army red kettle outside of a Las Cruces Wal-Mart, so all I had for the trip was my debit card. I had absolutely nothing to give her. It was my turn to go to the bathroom since Katie got out and Shirley continued to talk to Katie. When I got out, I fully intended to buy her a sandwich from the shop, but when we left the bathroom, we found out our bus was loading. Katie and I had to run to the terminal and out to the platform. We were at the end of the line, but we made it, checked our bags, and boarded the bus. We sat right behind the bus driver and fell asleep as soon as we were on the road. It was about 3AM and we were exhausted and just happy to be on the bus.

Moral of the Story: Always take the time to help others out in every situation, unless your means of transportation is about to leave you behind in a big city. Then, I'm gonna go ahead and say that it's safe to just catch the bus. :)

P.S. I had to take the picture through the bus window and it was far away so I had to zoom in...not the clearest picture, but I liked taking these at the stations that had them.

Greyhound #2: Big Spring, TX

When you do not take an express bus, you make a lot of stops in small towns on your route to pick people up or drop them off or whatever. Katie and I did not take an express bus, so we stopped in Pecos, TX and Midland and Big Spring and Sweetwater and Abilene until our driver who got on in Abilene said we wouldn't stop again till Fort Worth. Anyways, by the time we got to Big Spring, Katie and I had fallen asleep, but were woken up when the bright overhead lights came on and the bus driver shouted where we were over the PA system. We woke up and after everyone got off the bus for their smoke break, we stood up and stretched for a bit. We had no intentions of getting off because it was 10PM in a sketchy part of a small town and also because of the truck in the picture. It's not a great picture because I took it with my phone through the bus window, but this truck had a sign on the side of it that listed different food products for sale and a single flashing yellow light. Oh yea, and if you wanted to order food, you had to go into the truck where there were no lights. Are you kidding me? I believe that is the definition of sketch! On top of that, the truck operator had a PA system of his own and was shouting, "Hamburgers! Hot dogs! Tacos! Burritos!" over it. The whole thing was so ridiculous and I was so tired that all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Finally, everyone got back on the bus and we were off to Sweetwater.

Moral of the story: Avoid sketchy trucks that try to sell you food. Especially at 10 o'clock at night.

Greyhound #1: El Paso and Border Patrol

Recently, I had the pleasure and honor of being in a dear friend's wedding in South Carolina. How I got there was a totally different story. My friend Katie and I decided to take a Greyhound bus to South Carolina because it was by far the cheapest route. The bus was $189 for a round-trip from ElPaso, TX to Charleston, SC while everything else was $400 and up...including the train. So on Wednesday, December 15, we departed from El Paso on the bus heading to Charleston. These next few blog posts are about all of the crazy characters we met and events that took place on the 2-day bus ride there and 2-day bus ride back.

We left El Paso at 12:40PM on the 15th and it was a trip from the beginning. Katie and I got our tickets then headed into the terminal to wait for our bus. Keep in mind that we were both in sweats with our hair all wet because we had just showered. All of a sudden, this guy starts hollering at us. "Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!" We ignored him until he came over to us. "Hey, so, uh, we just were wonderin' if we could take a pitcha' with y'all because we just wanna have some proof that we know some models." Katie and I looked at each other and I wanted to roll my eyes so badly. I mean, we seriously looked like crap and this guy is saying we're models? Please! So I laughed and told him no thanks, then he says, "Come on girl! We need the curls!" I laughed again and said no thanks, then we decided to go back out to the parking lot and wait in our friend Tori's car. Our bus finally got there and we loaded our luggage underneath then got on the bus. By the time we got on the bus, everyone had taken their seats and there were no double seats left. So Katie and I made our way to the back looking for some seats and a guy asked us if we wanted to sit. We got excited until we realized that he was moving over so that one of us could sit there. I didn't think it was a big deal, but I wasn't thinking about the fact that we would have to sleep next to these people we didn't know. Don't worry though...Katie was thinking about it. There was one girl sitting in the 3-seater in the back so we decided to just sit with her because at least we'd be together. However, she told Katie she was waiting for someone. This is how the conversation went.

Katie: Hey, we were just wondering if the two of us could sit back here with you.

Girl: Oh uh well I'm waiting for someone. Uh, I think he's in the front.

Katie: In the very front seat on the right?

Girl: Oh yea tha's him. You can send him back here.

Katie: Ok, what's his name?

Girl: Psh, I dunno.

Katie: (makes her way to the front) Hey there's a girl in the back who says she's waiting for you.

-Guy looks to the back. Girl in the back waves and yells, "Heeeeyyyy!"-

Guy: (turns to Katie) Don't touch my s***. (Heads to the back to sit with the girl)

So finally, Katie and I are able to sit in the front together and relax. Our bus driver then began to make his announcements which included announcing that there would be no smoking, no drinking, and no sex on the bus. Definitely a good way to start the trip.

Now for the next part, I have to give a bit of a back story. While I was packing, I decided to lock my suitcases while on the bus. I already had 2 luggage locks, but I didn't have keys for them. So my roommate, Olivia, and I looked up how to pick a luggage lock on the internet. We made a makeshift key out of a paperclip and I decided to use it on my backpack that I would be carrying onto the bus. I bought 2 locks with keys from the store for my other 2 bags. As we're heading east in the bus, we were stopped by border patrol. Two officers came on the bus. Apparently a lady in the back of the bus got up because one of the officers firmly yelled, "Sit down ma'am! Everyone remain in your seats." They walked through the bus, got off, then came back on and asked to see everyone's ID's and tickets. Unfortunately, I had decided to take a nap before we were stopped and stuck my wallet with my ID and my tickets in my backpack, which I locked and was planning to unlock with the makeshift paperclip key. Of course, for the first time on the trip, the makeshift key decided not to work, preventing me from opening my backpack so I could present my ID and ticket to the border patrol officer. I looked up at the officer in front of me and asked if he had anything that could pick a lock.

Border Patrol Officer (BPO): Why would you need to pick a lock?

Me: Well, I don't have a key for my luggage lock on this bag so my roommate and I looked up how to pick a lock on the internet last night...

BPO: (looks at me questionably)

Me: Ok this is coming out poorly. My wallet with my ID and tickets is in the bag which I locked with a luggage lock. My other 2 bags have locks with keys, but I needed one more lock for this bag and this lock was on another bag and I didn't have a key for it. So I picked the lock with a paperclip and put it on this bag and it has been working all day until this point.

BPO: (looks at my luggage tag) And your wallet is in here?

Me: Yes.

BPO: (takes out his knife and pops the lock off my bag)

Needless to say, the lock was broken after this and I did not lock this bag again. After this happened, I was able to get my wallet out and prove that I was who I was and show him my tickets. After that, Katie and I could not stop laughing.

Moral of the story: Sometimes I'm smart and sometimes, I don't quite think things through...it's generally better to be smart.

This is only within the first few hours of the trip. I'll try to keep the other stories short, but be prepared for some interesting and entertaining stories and maybe a few pictures!

Just remember to stay smart and don't lock your luggage when you don't have a key!

Hello, my friend

Oh my! As of today, I have neglected this thing for 4 months! I guess part of it is because I don't feel like I have anything noteworthy to write about and also, this is the first chance I've had to just relax for the past 4 months. This semester has been crazy, exhausting, quick, hard, busy, and full of ups and downs. As of Wednesday afternoon, all that was finished, and now, I officially have one semester of college left! I cannot believe it's almost here! This is something I've dreamed about for so long and now I'm actually making plans and getting stuff all figured out! I know that in the end, it'll be really bittersweet, but now, I'm just flat out excited!

The plan is to leave this beautiful place I call home and venture into something totally new - a city. I was born in Plano, moved to a small town in Maryland when I was 6, and moved to Albuquerque when I was 14. After 8 wonderful years in New Mexico, I'm packing up and moving to Dallas. Why? I'm not quite sure. It's a fresh start and it's familiar, but the unfamiliar part is that I'll be on my own. I'm excited to start planning everything over the next six months and pumped to see all that God has in store. He moved me to New Mexico for a reason and has taught me so much in my time here. It is strange to think that in just six months, I will leave the place where I truly grew up - physically, mentally, and spiritually. He has given me a fantastic group of believers as friends who are so passionate for the Word and some of them are already living in Dallas! I'm heading out there for spring break to visit and I cannot wait! I am thrilled to start this new chapter of my life with Jesus leading the way. He truly is my Rock and my Light and I cannot imagine life without Him. I am so thankful for all of the lessons He has taught me and all of blessings He has so graciously given me. His love and mercy and grace have pulled me out of the pit time and time again. He is so good.

I am currently praying for a roommate for when I go out there. I honestly have no problems living by myself in a studio apartment or loft somewhere just outside of the city, but I also know it would be easier financially and socially if I had a roommate. I am just about as social as they come, but it would be great to have someone to go out with. I would love to bring my current roommate with me, but unfortunately, she has one more semester of school left after I graduate. I am dreading leaving her because God placed her in my life at the perfect time and she has truly become one of my best friends. We know each other so well and I'm going to be so sad when I don't live with her anymore. Anyways, if you're reading this, I ask that you would start praying for a roommate for me for Dallas. I want to move at the end of May/beginning of June, so it would be great if I found one before then. I am also super pumped to attend the Village Church in Dallas and to start getting involved there. God is doing great things through the Acts 29 movement and it will be so neat to be able to experience it first hand.

Before any of that happens though, I still have one more semester. I have 3 classes left for my major and the rest are workout classes. I'm taking jazz 2, ballet 2, beginning weight training, and pilates. It's going to be great! But even before that, I have my Christmas break. On Saturday, I'll go to Tuscon with my parents, come back on Sunday, then stay in Las Cruces until Wednesday the 15th. On that day, I will leave for Charleston, South Carolina on a Greyhound bus. I know it's going to be quite an experience, so I'm definitely going to blog about it and post pictures! But get this-!- they have wi-fi on the bus and plugs! At least I can update this thing right from the bus! After 2 days on the bus, I'll arrive in Charleston for my friend Nicole's wedding! I'll get there on Friday morning, get ready, hang out all day, then do the rehearsal and the dinner that night. The wedding will be on Saturday and I am so privileged to be a part of this special occasion. I'll leave Charleston on Sunday night and get back to El Paso around noon on Tuesday. Then, I'll drive back to Las Cruces, pick up some things, and will FINALLY be on my way home to Albuquerque for the break! I'll spend the holidays with my wonderful family, and on New Year's Day, I get to celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary! Then, after 2 more weeks, school starts again on January 13th. Bleh! I don't even want to think about that right now! I am, however, looking forward to this much needed break from school. I'm excited to talk theology with my mom and football with my dad, to shop with my sister, and to (hopefully) see my brothers and their band perform! It is going to be a jam-packed, but phenomenal, winter break.

Until next time, remember to eat a little something out of all of the food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.

Enyedesign

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For months my mom has been making bags and purses and planning to sell them on Etsy.com, but we could never figure out the website. So last night, after working on it all day, we finally got the site up and going! It is called Enyedesign and right now, we have 12 bags available for sale! They are super cute, very unique, and extremely well-made and durable! Please check it out and let us know what you think!

www.enyedesign.etsy.com

Crazy Love

Wow! I can't believe it's already almost August! I have not written in forever so here it goes! This past month has been so fantastic! I got home from San Diego, worked a bunch at Nothing but Noodles, and got to attend our college small group at Sagebrush Community Church. We read this book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it was seriously an incredible book. It was extremely convicting, but at the same time, extremely encouraging. It was so good to learn about God's crazy love for us. I know that God loves me as an individual, but I don't think that I ever thought about the depth of that crazy love or what it actually meant. I also never thought about what my response to that crazy love should be. Tonight, one of the things we talked about was what kind of legacy we wanted to leave when we died. I immediately thought of the song "Legacy" by Nichole Nordeman. I thought about putting my favorite lines on here, but I really think the whole song speaks volumes, so I'll just type the whole thing on here. :)

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

I really do not want to rely on the temporary trappings of this world. I want my funeral to be a night of worship, because in the end, it's not about me - it's about Jesus. I want to be obsessed with Him. That's the legacy I want to leave. I want to be so obsessed with Him that people look at my life and are pointed directly to Jesus. That may mean that I spend the rest of my life overseas or it may mean that I live on mission in the corporate world. Whatever I do, I want to serve and love others with the heart of Christ. I want to have a crazy love for Jesus.I want to think of eternity (the other world) so that I can be effective in this world.

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." -C.S. Lewis

Killing Giants

It is tradition on the San Diego Summer Project to have a week that is titled "Killing the Giants." Basically, this is the week where we share our faith multiple times every day and tackle the uncomfortable situations in our lives. This took place last week, but now that it's over, I have taken time to reflect on it and realize how great it really is. The passage we look to for this week is found in 1 Samuel 17:45-47 were David is telling the Philistine about the LORD and how He is David's help and strength and is stronger than anyone or anything. However, the verse that struck me from the overall passage was verse 48 which says, "Then it happened when the Philistine rose and came and drew near to meet David, that David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine" (NASB). I just was so impacted by the fact that David RAN QUICKLY toward the battle line. What a great picture of what we can do in the name of the LORD Almighty! Last year, I viewed Killing the Giants week as a pain in my behind. It made me uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I made up some fake "giants" in my life or the "giants" were real and I just chose not to do anything about them. This year, with the vivid picture of David running toward the Philistine, I was able to tackle my giants, or at least begin the process. It felt so great to trust God in these areas where I had never really done so before.

As the project continues, I am continuing to process through many things as God continues to refine me. Not gonna lie - it has been pretty rough because I have been believing some wrong things about God and drawing life from wrong places. However, God is so merciful and gracious to me and He continues to pour His love on me and He blesses me with great days out here in San Diego. God is just so good and I just don't deserve it, but I am so thankful for His love and mercy and grace.

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." -2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB

By the way, I am loving the World Cup and Wimbledon! It's probably not the best thing because the TV in our condo is always on, but it has been so much fun bonding with the rest of the staff over watching the USA team play at 7 in the morning! And now that Wimbledon is on, I do all of my work in front of the television! Ok, that is definitely an exaggeration, but I am watching tennis as I am writing this. As a matter of fact, Soderling just beat Ginepri in 3 sets in the first round of the tournament. Just thought I'd throw that in. The World Cup has also inspired the soccer players on project to play every week. It has been so much fun, except that I don't have my cleats! I play in running shoes and it's a big bummer, but I have so much fun! I also play some tennis out at the rec center and I love just goofing around as well as playing seriously. That's how I relax: by exerting more of my energy through sports. It has been a crazy time out here so far, but it is also insane to think that we only have 10 more days here before we leave! Then we are in Disneyland for a few days and then it's home to Albuquerque on the 7th! Until then, I have a lot to do,but it's going to be great!!!!

Peace and love from Sandy Eggo! (See what I did there? haha)

San Diego

What an adventure I'm on! I don't even know where to begin! I have learned and done so much out here that it all just kind of runs together in my mind. So I think I will make lists.
Places I've been:

• In-n-Out
• La Playa
• Clairemont Emmanuel Baptist Church
• San Diego State University
• Grossmont Community College
• Mesa Community College
• Mission Beach
• Mount Soledad
• Cafe 976
• Ralphs
• Trader Joe's
• Yogurtland
• Petco Park

Things I've Learned:

• Humility
• Living Spirit-filled (Galatians 5:16-26)
• Biblical history and prophecy (Daniel)
• and much more that is not necessarily coming to mind right now

Being here in San Diego as staff on Summer Project has been such a blessing. I have been so encouraged by the women in my condo and the rest of the staff. I have also been reminded daily of the importance of time in the Word every day. It is living and active and I need to be in it every day. For the first time in a long time, God is flooding me with peace and understanding and it is unbelievable to experience it all. This is the passage I have clung to since I've been here:

"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
-2 Corinthians 3:2-6

What a great reminder of where our worth and adequacy comes from! What a beautiful picture this passage paints! Since my "trainer," Abbie, showed me this passage, I have prayed it daily and God has reminded me daily that I am nothing without Him. I am all bad and He is all good.

I have about 3 more weeks here in San Diego and I am so very excited to see what else God has in store for me and for the rest of the project!

God is with us
In His loving arms, we are safe from harm
Blessed with His almighty love
May you find strength from Him above

Humility

Humbling. That is the word that sums up the first few days out here on project. I drove with my friends Rachel, Brittney, and Cody out to San Diego at midnight on Wednesday the 19th. We got into town around 1pm Pacific time and had the rest of the day to get settled. The next day was soul-to-souls and I thought I was ready, but God knows me better than I know myself and completely brought me to my knees in humility. I came out to San Diego thinking I was in this awesome spiritual state. However, as I began to do my soul-to-soul, I started to realize that I was the exact opposite! I'm not in a good state at all! I am not consistent with my quiet times and now, I have to lead girls who will look up to me spiritually this summer. How can I lead them if I'm not in the Word daily? Not good. God has shown me that I need to completely let everything go and give it all to Him, but also that His opinion of me is the only one that matters. My identity should be completely and solely in Him.
This weekend, I had to go to a wedding in Albuquerque and God showed me another area where I'm lacking. My sister called the house to tell me that there were some Mormons walking around the neighborhood. Like the callous, shallow person I am, I decided that I wouldn't answer the door when they came. However, my brother answered the door and I started to feel a know form in my stomach. You see, on Friday, the project went to UCSD to go out and share their faith. I was sad I was missing it, but was excited to go home for the wedding. So when these guys left, I realized what an idiot I had been! God gave me an opportunity on my doorstep to share my faith and I was a coward. I felt so horrible once my brother closed the door and the guys were gone and my heart aches with embarrassment when I think about it. Then, I went to the wedding yesterday and was completely moved by my friends. My roommate and I always talk about how much we love our friends and it was so much fun to celebrate this amazing event with all of them. The ceremony was beautiful and it made me so excited for the day when I, God-willing, will get to experience that. The toasts at the reception were fantastic, but one thing was said that I knew, but never really took to heart. The matron of honor ended her toast by reminding the couple that their marriage was to glorify God in every aspect. She reminded them that they needed to love God first, and through that, they would grow closer every day. It was such a great reminder and it was so encouraging for me. I know that I need to love God first and then everything else will happen according to His plan.
Today, I got back to San Diego around 10:15am and got back to the project a little later. My day started with a Bible study that was amazing, but made me realize that a lot of times, I view salvation as a secondary need when it is really the primary need. We were in Luke 5:17-26 when Jesus heals the paralytic. Jesus forgives the man of his sins first and then heals him. By doing this, Jesus meets the man's primary need before his physical, secondary need. So often, I witness healing and prosperity and I am reminded that God is there. However, this results in the fact that I am so focused on the secondary needs that they become a primary need to me. This is so sad and I am fervently praying that God will turn this around for me.
Lastly, I also got the applications of my growth group girls today and I have never felt more insecure. One girl in my group is way more spiritually mature than me and I am so nervous about having her in my group. How can I lead a girl spiritually when she is more spiritually mature than me?! Then, a few minutes ago when I started writing this post, I realized that I have to give it over to God. I believe that He can enable me to lead these girls and meet their needs that He wants me to. I believe that God can use me in their lives no matter the level of spiritual maturity. I believe that He will give me the confidence and the words that I need to disciple these girls well this summer.

God has used so many events in the past few days to show me so much and to truly humble me. I know that I need to fully rely on Him. Without Him, nothing is possible.

____________________________________________________________________

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
-John 15:4-5
____________________________________________________________________

Needless to say, San Diego Summer Project 2010 is off to a fantastic start. It is not at all the start I expected, but it is amazing! My condo is great, my training group is great, and my ministry team is great! I cannot wait to see what else God has for me this summer!

John 9

The sermon in church today was on John 9, which is the story of the blind man who Jesus heals. What I usually take from this story is that Jesus has compassion for everyone. I received so much more than that today and I am just so thankful that God is continually molding me and shaping me to be a better witness for Him. Here are some things I took from today:

• Jesus always sees something in others that no one else sees.
  
• No matter what happens in life, good or bad, it is all meant to glorify God.
  
• Life is always better when we place everything we have in the hands of Jesus.
• Also, when you have Jesus, you have EVERYTHING.

During the sermon, the pastor said something that really hit home. He talked about how the blind man had no idea who this guy talking to him was, and all of a sudden, he hears spitting and the rubbing together of mud and saliva. Then he feels something cool on his eyes. Yet, after all he has heard and felt, he does not pull away. He says "yes" to Jesus. Then I thought, do I say yes to Jesus? When I sat and really thought about the answer, a knot formed in my stomach. I know exactly who Jesus is and I love Him, but I don't always say yes to Him. I don't give Him everything I have. My biggest problem is that I don't give Him my time. I would rather sleep or sew or be on facebook than spend time with my Savior. How sad is that?

So it is 2 days before I leave for San Diego and I don't want this to be the case anymore. I want to be a good steward of my time and devote it all to the Lord. I want everything I say and do to glorify God. I want my actions to be a witness for Jesus. He deserves my everything and I want to give it to Him, just like the blind man in John 9.

Splenda

No, this post is not about my love for artificial sweetener...I just didn't feel like titling it "Sweet." Anyways, I'm just loving life right now. God is doing some pretty sweet things and I enjoy soaking them up day after day. The first thing that comes to mind is my relationship with Jadee (the Chi Omega in the picture). She is awesome. God has orchestrated both our lives so that we could find each other in college and learn and grow from one another. The whole thing just blows my mind! I met her at church through a friend and then she was in my recruitment group and then we just started meeting and before we knew it, I was discipling her! The semester has been so cool and we'll both be in San Diego this summer so I'm super pumped for that. I know that I'm supposed to be mentoring her, but God has used her to show me so many things as well. I've learned to be fearless because I know who I am in God and I am confident in Him. I've learned to listen to others more and ask questions instead of selfishly talking about myself. I've learned to laugh at myself...even more than I already do. Last, but not least, I've learned to care about others and to be compassionate. Jadee cares so deeply for others and it blows my mind! Seeing how much she cares for others caused me to examine my own thoughts and my heart, and I realized that sometimes, I don't show compassion and I don't care about others. I may act like I care or put on a smile, but my heart will be ugly. Not cool. Jadee emulates God's love and compassion for others. That is where I want to be and I am so thankful that God has shown me this. He is constantly preparing me for this summer and it makes me so happy. I made her a vision plan for the summer and if I may say so myself, it's pretty cool. I used a pink journal and used some stickers to put her name on the front, then I went crazy on the inside with stickers, pictures, and colored pens. It was fantastic. We went to breakfast this morning and I gave it to her and it was so much fun! We talked for hours about this and that and I loved every minute of it. I am so thankful and blessed that God has placed her in my life! I know that there is still so much to come for the both of us.

On Friday night, we had Crown Ball. It was my first date party since fall 2008! The theme was prom so I got all dressed up and I did my makeup all pretty and stuff. The truth is I hate wearing that much makeup. It was fun for the night, but I was so glad to take it off. I just feel gross when I know there's a ton of makeup on my face. My idea of enough makeup is bronzer and a little blush. My crazy days are when I actually put on mascara! Anyways, my dress was short, strapless, and red with flower/ruffle things at the bottom. It was so cute and I borrowed it from one of the other Zetas. I guess expanded closets are a perk of being in a sorority. I also got to wear my black and silver glitter heels which I never get to wear! I think that was the most exciting part for me. Oh, and my date actually matched me! I didn't tell him what I was wearing because I didn't think it was a big deal, but some of our friends intervened and found him a nice red tie to wear with a black shirt. The night was pretty interesting, but a lot of fun. There was even a chocolate fountain!!! You can never go wrong with a chocolate fountain in my book.

And now, it's finals week. Time to spend every waking hour of the next 4 days studying. Oh, and on top of that, I have to pack for the summer. Craziness. But, it will all be worth it when I go home to see my family and then go out to San Diego. I just want to be done with school...right now. I will end by saying that if you don't hear from me in the next week, it is because I am buried in my notes, so don't worry. See you in a week...or whenever.

Oh Dear...

Let's see...where do I begin? So much has happened this past month and it all just runs together in my brain. Spring break was forever ago, but it was so good to go home and see my family! I'm such a homebody when I go back and I love spending time with them. They refresh my life. That week was needed because the weeks following spring break were devoted to greek sing and greek week. April is probably the most stressful month of my entire year. It's so much fun, but I am always glad when it's over. The first 2 weeks were spent practicing for greek sing. Our theme this year was the roaring 20's and I got to act! It was so much fun and we put on an amazing show! We got third place, then went straight into greek week, which was filled with activities. Greek olympics was last Saturday and all of our practice paid off. We won tug, which never happens!!! I'm pretty sure the last time Zeta won tug was about 8 years ago. We also won pyramid and chariot...so awesome!

Another update: I have officially raised all of my support for San Diego this summer!!! It has been so amazing to see God work through His provision and it is so reassuring for me. I know this is where God wants me this summer and I am so ready to go. I will leave on May 19th and drive out to San Diego with some friends. On the 21st, I fly back to Albuquerque for a wedding, then back to San Diego on the 23rd. I will be there until July 7th. I honestly cannot wait to get out there. God has moved in me and changed me so much this past year. I am not the same girl that went to San Diego a year ago. God used San Diego Summer Project to change my life and I cannot wait to see how God uses it in the lives of students this summer. We are going through Luke and I am actually responsible to write one of the studies we'll be doing with 2 other student staff members. I'm nervous for this because I don't think I know how to properly study the Bible in the first place, but I know God will use this to teach me something.

We had our last Sagebrush-Las Cruces service last Sunday. Todd, the senior pastor at the church, came and spoke live and it was so cool! For the first time in a while, I was able to completely let my guard down and just praise Jesus for all that He has done for me and is doing for me. It felt so good to be reminded of the freedom I have in Christ. On that note, I'm working through a Beth Moore study right now on Daniel and it is incredible. I have learned so many things from it, but I guess an underlying them is to live for Jesus-no matter what. Daniel always did, even when he was exiled from Judah to Babylon. He continued to love the Lord and serve Him and he prospered in all that he did. Plus, he lived in Babylon and there are so many connections to the Babylon of the Bible and to the world we live in today. We are living in a modern day Babylon, and I want to live in it like Daniel did.

Now, it's time for the end of school. Tomorrow is a biology test, then El Paso and date party on Friday, then study time this weekend so I can ace my finals next week! I feel like the end of school is crazier than this whole past month has been, but it will all be worth it when it's done!

Motto for the week: Love Jesus. Love others.

SO GOOD!

Oh dear...words cannot even express what I am feeling right now. I am completely overwhelmed by God's goodness, His faithfulness, and His love for me! HE IS SO GOOD! I have been praying that He would raise the support I needed for San Diego by March 17th ($300) and He raised that...and then some! It's incredible! He is flooding me with His love and He has given me the security that San Diego is where He wants me to be this summer! It is such a good feeling!

"For He is the living God and enduring forever and His kingdom is one which will not be destroyed and His dominion will be forever. He delivers and rescues and performs signs and wonders in heaven and on earth." -Daniel 6:26-27

This past week as I have been digging into Daniel and going deeper in my quiet times, I have begun to recognize when Satan attacks me. I'll be fine and all of a sudden, insecurities will fill my head or my heart will feel heavy. Before, I would always just shrug it off, but I am now recognizing that these are ways in which Satan is attacking me. The only thing is his plan has backfired. These insecurities and things have only made me draw closer to God and I have begun to relish the history of the Bible. Through this Beth Moore study, I have been able to see how Daniel's time was just like ours and it is so encouraging me because God placed Daniel in the middle of Babylon when the Babylon mentality was about pleasure and luxury - not God. How is that any different from my situation? I don't want to give in to that mentality. I want to stay focused on God and what He has for me, because it is greater than anything I could ever think up in my head. I want to surrender everything to God.

This past week was also the last week in my journal that I have had for a year. I did have a separate journal for summer project, but still, this journal is the one I wrote in for 2009 and the first 3 months of 2010. It's so torn up and the bookmark fell out...it's a mess, but I love it. I bought a new journal and I'm so excited to start it, but this also makes me think about everything that has happened in the last year. I got that journal after my first trip to DCC and man was I on fire for the Lord. Even though I accepted Christ when I was young, I think I was still a baby in my faith. I had the knowledge, but I had never been consistent with quiet times or truly committed to growth in the Lord. That changed after DCC and I began to learn things about myself and about my faith. At this point, my identity was completely in guys and the acceptance of others. I thrive around people as it is, but I needed their approval at this point. If I thought someone didn't like me, it ruined my day. It took me going on San Diego Summer Project last summer to recognize this and stop it. I realized that I should be placing my identity in God and nothing else because He is the ONLY ONE who will truly never fail me. He may not give me everything I want, but He will never do anything to me that will not be for my benefit. What an amazing and core truth I learned last summer! My journal entries changed from seeking approval to praising Him and seeking Him. I wanted to know how my life fit into God's plan. I wasn't seeking my own advancement anymore. But then I just kind of lost touch. I would go a full month without a quiet time, then have one, then go for another chunk of time with nothing. Then we come to another DCC and the beginning of a new year. I have changed so much in the past year, but that change has been for the better. I have been changed by the people who have come into my life, but most importantly, Jesus changed me. Following Him is the best thing that has ever happened to me...why would I ever stop?

Worship

"My happiness is found in less of me and more of You." -Shane and Shane

I have a serious problem...I ask God for thing after thing and He blesses me time and time again...but I rarely go to Him because of who He is. Sad right? I mean, God is infinite and unfathomable, yet He cares for me and loves me so much. ME! I don't deserve His love, yet He gives it to me unconditionally and I just can't seem to return it. It breaks my heart to realize this. I don't want this to be true of my relationship with the One who sent His Son to save me. He deserves more than that from me.

I guess I truly realized this last Sunday. Some quick background information: I absolutely love to sing. My aunt has a home video of me, my 2 brothers, and my cousin Lisa when we were little and I sang the entire "Super Turkey" song - motions and all. While I was singing and in my own little world on that fireplace, Lisa was turning people into frogs with her wand, Zach was counting to 5 then jumping off the fireplace, and Blake was singing his favorite song from "Free Willy" which happened to be "Will You Be There" by Michael Jackson. I have loved to sing and perform since I could form sentences. I did choir in elementary school, middle school, high school, and church. I was in the worship band for "children's church" at my church in Maryland and I was in the high school worship band at my old church in Albuquerque. However, now that I'm in college, I just really like to sing in my car and around my apartment. Especially after this past summer in San Diego, I realized that by singing the way I had for all those years, I was seeking my own glory. I didn't sing to glorify God; I sang because I knew I was good and it was an ego boost. Needless to say, I am now a behind-the-scenes girl. I like to serve others and that results in me not being on a stage and singing in front of people. Flash back to this past Sunday: I had to sing the feature song at church. I was terrified because I was singing by myself and I hadn't sang in front of others in a very long time. I prayed that God would calm me down and that I would be able to get through the song just fine. I prayed that morning on the drive from Albuquerque to Cruces. I prayed while we were setting up for church. I prayed while the band was practicing. I prayed while I was practicing. I prayed throughout the entire sermon. I prayed during the 5-6 minute prayer as I was up on stage before I actually had to sing. It was in those final minutes before I sang that I finally felt peace. God showed me that He had given me this gift to bring Him glory and that nothing else mattered. It didn't matter what people thought of me. It only mattered that I was singing a worship song to God and that I BELIEVED every single word I was singing. It felt so good to sing to my God with praise and worship in my heart. But then after I was done, I don't remember thanking Him for giving me that peace or getting me through the song. I had asked Him for help all day long, but I didn't bother to thank Him or talk to Him once I was done. Maybe I was just overwhelmed...I dunno.

So after this drastic realization, I have been listening to worship music on my iPod. However, after about the 4th time through the playlist, I realized I needed new worship music. Since I can't buy any, I'm just constantly listening to worship on Pandora. I made a "Shane and Shane" station today and I must say that I am thoroughly enjoying it. This is allowing me to see God in a new way. I am hearing all of these words that are just giving God the glory and praising Him...and not because of anything He has done, but just because of who He is. He is holy and I will praise Him. During my quiet time this morning, I chose to limit myself as far as what I asked Him for. I asked Him for 3 things...

1. Guidance during the day in everything I say and do.
2. That He would raise the $300 I need in support for San Diego by March 17th.
3. That He would give me wisdom and discernment as I study His Word.
   

Usually, I go on and on with requests, but today I went on and on with praises and with reminders of who God is...to everyone and to me. The beauty of it is that I felt complete confidence in Him at that point - especially when I asked Him for #2. Support raising scares me, but today, God told me I could always be confident in Him. He will provide and I BELIEVE that He will provide that $300 I need by March 17th. I am confident in Him. He is Jehovah Jireh! I have no reason to not be confident in Him! I have no reason to worry! I only have reason to worship Him and to love Him.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

Unexpected

Wow. What a long and crazy day.

1. Woke up at 5:30am and ate an omelet, some honey nut cheerios, and some oatmeal.
2. Drank some coffee, had a quiet time and got ready for school.
3. Filled up my entire water bottle, then left it on the counter at my apartment.
4. Class from 8:55-3:35.
5. Went for a run in the activity center...

Here's where it gets interesting...all day long, I had been looking forward to running then going to my bosu class at 5, but apparently, God didn't want that to happen. I finished running my two miles on the treadmill and started walking. All of a sudden, my body felt really heavy, my limbs got all tingly, and i got really light-headed. So I clung to the side of the treadmill with my iPod still on and I'm pretty sure I actually passed out while I was standing up. Once I came to, I sat down on the treadmill with my head between my legs for probably about 5 minutes with a ringing in my ears. Finally, everything returned to normal and I was able to walk out of the AC just fine. Pretty crazy, huh? I'm just glad I didn't throw up! After all that craziness, I wrote my support letter for this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then, I couldn't print it! I went to 4 different computers in Corbett and none of them were connected to the only working printer in the place! Needless to say, I got really frustrated and just decided to leave and after eating food that was easy on my stomach and a good chat with the roommate, I sat down to write this and started reflecting on the madness that was today. I started out my day listening to a Beth Moore session and something she said really hit me.

Satan has no greater agenda than attempting to desecrate what God consecrates, but God does not overlook this. He gives us the ability to fight the enemy.

I learned that I am consecrated to God and I felt like today, Satan berated me with frustrations, lies, and inconveniences that caused me to look away from God. But it's good to know that I can come home, recognize all of this, and remember that He has given me the ability to fight Satan. One of the best things He has given me is prayer. No matter where I am, no matter what time of day it is, I know that I can always count on God and talk to Him about anything. He is so good and I know my hope is safe in Him. Now that's a good day. :)

0% Perfect, 100% Forgiven

Where to begin? Well, for starters, this past Sunday at Sagebrush-Las Cruces, the sermon was on forgiveness. Technically it was on Matthew 5:9 which says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." I left that night processing and trying to understand what God wanted to teach me through this. Todd, the pastor, talked about forgiveness and he said that it was easy for us to forgive ourselves, but hard to forgive others and I couldn't stop thinking about that. You see, for me, it is much harder to forgive myself than it is to forgive others. I hold myself to a higher standard while I make excuses for other people. I then continue to beat myself up over my sin. It's all over my journal! When I confess my sin, I say, "How could I do something like this?", "What was I thinking?", or I just call myself stupid. None of this is edifying and it doesn't really help me to grow. It's one thing to confess my sins, but it's another to dwell on them. That is when Satan comes in and tells me I'm not worthy of Jesus' blood. So basically, I've been struggling with dwelling on my sin this week. Tonight, I met with my discipleship group, which is led by this amazing Campus Crusade for Christ staff woman named Holly. We are going over 1 John and we talked about the false teachings of sin that are addressed in 1 John 1:5-2:2. We talked about downsizing our sin and dwelling on it and I expressed my struggle. Then God spoke to me through Holly. Holly said that dwelling on our sin and beating ourselves up over it is like saying Jesus' blood isn't powerful enough to cover my sin. It's like saying, "Thanks God for sending Jesus, but His blood won't cover my sins"...basically, a slap in the face. Not cool. She then went on to say we need to confess our sins and admit to them, but then acknowledge what Jesus did for us and recognize that His death on the cross-the pain he endured as his flesh was being torn from His body and as He died by suffocation-encompasses every sin I have ever committed and will ever commit. I will always sin...it's my nature and it is inevitable. However, knowing this, I can be confident in the fact that I am always 0% perfect, 100% forgiven.

1 Timothy 4:8

I got a letter in the mail today and it made me so happy! Recently, I have become a pen-pal of my 7 year-old cousin, Abby. Abby lives in Indiana with my Uncle Norm (aka Uncle Nick-Nock), my beautiful and wonderful Aunt Kimberly, and her younger siblings Luke and Mary-Claire. I haven't gotten to see them for a little over a year, but I like writing to Abby to hear what she is up to. Her letter today told me that I was a great cousin and she drew me a lot of cute and wonderful pictures. On a full sheet of paper, she told me about the Bible verse she's been learning. "Training the body has some value, but being godly has value in every way. It promises help for the life you are now living, and the life to come." -1 Timothy 4:8...Reading this made me so happy! It lifted my spirits and definitely reminded me of what I need to be doing daily, but it also ensured me that she is actively seeking the Lord and that she wants to share that with me! I absolutely loved it! Oh and I love the dance classes I'm taking! I'm learning so much about technique and really learning to enjoy it more...however, in ballet today, we did retire a passe and I am not very good at them when I have proper posture! But, at least I know what I can work on! Until next time...

Maiden Voyage

So...hi! This is my first blog post ever and I'm kind of nervous about it so please don't judge me. I'm new to this whole blogging thing, but it seems like a better way to keep people updated from long distances. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to create a blog...crazy, right? Anyways, my favorite worship song of all time is "Jesus Paid it All", but a close second is "Desert Song." If you've never heard it, please go listen to it. It's AMAZING! It describes every phase of life that we can go through on a daily basis and God is always right there with us. So part of the reason this blog is called "In the Desert..." is because that's where I am spiritually, like it says in the song...and literally! I am currently living in Las Cruces, New Mexico, but my family is in Albuquerque. LasCruces is approximately 45 minutes west of El Paso, Texas, which means I am about 45 minutes west of Mexico. This pretty much means I'm in the desert. Not like sand dunes, scorpions, and huge cacti, but beautiful mountains, the best sunsets ever, and the most amazing people. The picture behind the blog title is of the Organ Mountains in Las Cruces at sunset. SO GORGEOUS! Honestly though, I think the sunsets are even better in Albuquerque. God has seriously blessed me with so much here. I have the most amazing and incredible group of friends and I have grown so much closer to the Lord! I'll have to go into greater detail later, but I hope I actually remember to get on and update this thing! TTFN-Ta Ta For Now!